


Kinktober (or: Cockblocktober where nobody came)

by WithAWhisper



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Swapfell, Alternate Universe - Underfell, Blindfolds, F/M, M/M, Multi, No Smut, Other, Sorry Not Sorry, Underfell Grillby, Wax Play, kinkshaming, this entire fic might as well be kinkshaming
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-27
Updated: 2017-10-13
Packaged: 2019-01-06 00:28:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12200340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WithAWhisper/pseuds/WithAWhisper
Summary: Do YOU like to be boned by monster skeletons? Well, do you??? So do I!Is that gonna happen however? Absolutely not!Feast your eyes on the 30 ways in which you, the reader, is cockblock'd by the Universe!





	1. You have been Bonetrousled

**Author's Note:**

> Okay you filthy sinners, as my first official work published on AO3 how fitting is it that it's Kinktober when October is but a few days away?

Day 1: First time, Papyrus/reader

 

You are dating a skeleton monster.

This wasn’t some trashy young adult fiction novel, where the love interest turned back into a generic attractive looking dude, no, he was a legit monster. Monsters have been on the surface for two and a half-ish years now? You met your boyfriend early on, when you encountered each other in the park and became fast friends. And now, lovers.

And you two were going to have sex.

Granted, you had thought about the logistics to it, much longer than you’d ever admit because. He’s. A skeleton? No skin, organs, hair and definitely not a...yanno.

Dick.

But uh, shit, go big or go home and you don’t like going home.

Papy had a dating manual but the last chapter was all scribbled out (you suspect you know what the contents of the last chapter was, and which overprotective older brother blacked it all out) so he had to go find another copy to read up the last steps. 

The Bone Zone.

Nothing like a couple pair of virgins can’t figure out right? You and Papyrus sitting on his racecar bed and Sans, thankfully, out of the house. Kissing was, a trade that Papyrus had down above and beyond and something that both of you had plenty of practice in.

And then oops, your top slipped off how about that? Papyrus had blushed but to balance it out, took his own shirt off. Back to kissing.

Things were going fine up until Papyrus had gotten his fingers stuck in your hair.

“OH NO, LET ME FIX THAT-” He exclaims, in natural horror.

And then tugged his hand, and by proxy, your head with it.

“Ow ow, Pap! No, hold still!” You grab his arm with both hands.

All your flailing led to the both of you toppling off the bed. You smacked your forehead into his teeth on the way down and your scalp screamed when his hand tore away with several strands of your hair stuck in between his finger joints. You kinda, maybe screamed too.

Suffice to say, no boning was happening tonight.


	2. Wax isn't a sexy thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader plays with some wax and Fellby is left with a mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You're all gonna be disappointed by the end of this folks, abandon all hope ye who enter here.

Day 2: Wax, Fellby/Reader

 

Grillby didn’t often invite you up to his apartment often and, honestly, probably had good reason to.

You’d gotten too drunk to properly go home by yourself and Grillby had all but guided you to his couch where you could sleep off the drinks.

Staring down at all the congealed candle wax pooled on the ground, you’re surprised you’re still alive and that Grillby hasn’t killed and put you in his burgers.

“........You’re up.” You hear from behind you.

At the familiar crackle and pop from your friend, maybe more (but probably not after whatever the hell you did after last night) you turn around slowly.

There he stood, purple flames and all. You look up at him, hunching your shoulders sheepishly.

“M-morning Grillby.” 

He crackles and you shuffle your bare feet nervously. The floor felt warm, which was surprising in the morning chill. That was probably Grillby.

“...Clean up your mess.”

That’s probably fair, but did he really leave melted candles all over his floor just to tell you, hungover and still tired, to clean it up instead of himself?

So you ask him what happened last night. ...As you went to find a bucket and a scrub. (At least you’re doing it.)

“You took my candles and...stuck them over my flames to light them up.”

That didn’t sound...too terrible. You were filling the bucket up in his kitchen sink.

“Sorry about your candles.”

“.....you also said that you wanted...to have a ‘smashing time’.”

Okay, that’s embarrassing.  
“...I’m gonna guess and say we didn’t?”

The look he gave you made you laugh, despite your headache.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disappointed yet?


	3. Sex in the dark is a kink, right?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Honesty, Sans needs to clean his room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What up, I walk into the club like I got no sexual experience but I'm ready to bang

Day 3: Blinded, Sans/reader

 

What do you need blindfolds for when you could just stumble around in Sans’ room all on your lonesome in his dark bedroom?

Just kidding. It was Sans’ idea and that was a surprise in itself because of the two of you, Sans was just fine with you taking the lead in your sex lives.  
It seemed like a good idea at the time.

“i’m thinking this is less and less of a good idea by the minute.”

Having sex in the dark with both of you feeling each other out and all the rest of your senses heightened? Sexy.

But, your boyfriend was a magical skeleton who had little magical white orbs floating around in his eye sockets, which lessened the effect a bit.

“No, we can work with this!” You say, reaching out blindly and patting where you assume your bony little boyfriend was.

“over here.” He says, exactly the opposite of where you were flapping your hand at.

You reach around and smack your hand against something hard. “Ow!”

“snrk. that’s not me.” He laughs, the bonehead.

So, Sans got to wear the blindfold and you could turn off the lights and take your times exploring each other, sexily. 

Except in the dark, where the light switch was very, very far away from Sans’ bed. As you’re beginning to learn.

You feel your hands around the thing you ran into. Oh.

“I think this is as much action that your treadmill has had ever.” You say as you grope at it. Shuffling your feet across the floor, you toe aside some socks and make your way, you hope, to your boyfriend.

“that’s fair. the athletic life wasn’t one i ever wanted to tread anyway.”   
“How dare.” You laugh anyway.

And then you feel something scuttle over your foot and you scream. You jump and scream, Sans gives a surprised shout and you trip over something among your flailing and crash into a hard, familiar bony body onto the mattress.

-

Later after Sans whipped off the blindfold and flicked the lights on with a wave of his magic, you find that you scraped your knee going down and what you identify as the thing that ran over your foot was a centipede hiding in the sock pile he kept in the corner.

The next day, both you and Papyrus and Sans spend the entire day cleaning up his bedroom.


	4. Stacy's mom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A fish is kinkshamed.

Prompt: Daddy/Mommy Kink  
Swapfell!Undyne & Reader

 

“...Wait a minute. You’re. Serious?” You stare out at Undyne from your sleeping bag on the floor of her cramped little living room.

The bipedal fish in question, with her severe hair bun and scarred eye was blushing a ruddy purple down to her gills. Amazing. This woman was 6 feet of teeth and scalpels for elbows and had the visage of a blushing schoolgirl.

You could hear the seams popping on the pillow she was clutching in her arms. 

“Both the Queen and the Captain of the Royal Guard? Wow, you got high standards.” You say. Your eyebrows are so high right now.

“S-shut the fuck up.” She hisses at you, but oh hey look at that, she didn’t deny it at all.

You sit up, a shit eating grin spreading across your face.

“Wait, but Alphys told me that, like, she used to go up against the Queen when she was a runt to challenge her in a fight, and and, that she was personally trained by her. Oh my god. You’re in love with a mom and her daughter combo.”

She throws the pillow at you and you duck. It hits your shoulder with a hard thwack, but it's worth it. 

“So, would this count as a mommy kink?”

“Oh my god!!! I’m gonna stab you with a scalpel!!!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm busy with classes and I don't have the willpower to keep up with kinktober so lmao these chapters will come as they will.

**Author's Note:**

> lmao yeah so I can't write sex but you're gonna get a whole lot of cringe!


End file.
